The Master Cleanse: Day Two

I'm feeling ok today. A little low on energy, but nothing too dramatic. Luckily, the last couple weeks I've cut down my green tea intake to a single cup in the morning, so there isn't much caffeine withdrawl to suffer through. Last night around 9 p.m. I almost caved and ate a waffle (nights have always been my snacking weakness), but I knew I'd feel like a loser afterward, so I drank my tea and went to sleep instead.

For those of you wondering what the Master Cleanse entails, here are the dirty deets:

  • Night before first fast day: drink laxative tea before going to bed

Fast days 1-10:

  • Morning - Mix 2 teaspoons of unrefined sea salt into 1 quart of warm water. Drink. Stay near a bathroom for the next hour.

  • Throughout the day - Drink "lemonade" cocktail comprised of 16 oz filtered water, 2 tablespoons grade B maple syrup, 2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lemon juice, and a pinch of two of cayenne pepper. You can drink as many of these as you want, but making it is kind of a hassle, so I prefer to make two servings at a time.
  • Night - laxative tea before bed.

That's all. Talk about saving money on food.

The salt water flush is mildly unpleasant to drink, so I've been chugging it down as quickly as possible, just to get it over with. I've read on the internet that people have the hardest time with this part of the fast. I don't blame them - it's like swallowing a quart of seawater. Still, doable. But I'm not kidding about staying near the bathroom.

The lemonade itself is actually yummy, and the cayenne pepper gives it a spicy kick. I'm supposed to drink at least 6 servings of the stuff throughout the day, along with lots of water. I had 8 yesterday, and only stopped there because I ran out of lemons.

Note to self: buy more lemons.

I miss eating, though, and it goes deeper than hunger pangs. I miss rich tastes and textures. I miss my friends that I'm avoiding because I don't want to be tempted by sushi or red wine. I miss treating myself to a handful of chocolate chips after vacuuming the house. I miss TV, which I've turned off to spare myself from food commercials. I miss watching butter fry on an iron skillet. I know this is all heavily psychological, but being without food is depressing.

Then again, it's just my second day. It's not like I have to say goodbye to food forever. I'm going to eat nachos again, and they're going to taste as good as I remember them. I've heard the first few days on the Master Cleanse are the hardest, which is why I chose to take advantage of the three-day weekend and not have to watch my co-workers slobbering over their super baby burritos and tuna melts. Come Tuesday, I hope the temptation to eat has waned considerably, otherwise I fear I might hurt someone.