The Master Cleanse: Day Five

I'm halfway done! It's no longer a challenge mentally, but I'm starting to get a bit bored avoiding all social activity that involves food and/or drink. I feel a little left out when everyone else goes to lunch, or goes on a cookie run, or even hints at going across the street to the wine bar. I know I could take my self-control up a notch and join them, lemonade in hand, but it's not quite the same. Besides, being in a restaurant might send my head spinning, since my sense of smell is off the charts. I'm literally smelling the neighbor's food as I type this. And they aren't barbecuing.

Without getting too graphic on this prim and proper blog, I'm not exactly experiencing the... err... eliminations that other people seem to have on the cleanse. Am I to believe that my pipes are just naturally spotless? Or is the best yet to pass? Eww, sorry. I'm running out of material. Can it just be day 10 already?